The Konformist

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November 2000

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gore: To pierce or wound with something pointed.

Thanks to Sightings for the following.

 

Some Facts And Fictions Of Al Gore

Reprinted from the Internet News Bureau article "Al Gore's 21 Lies."

10-4-2000

FICTION: Al Gore recently claimed that his mother-in-law pays more than $100.00 for the arthritis medicine Lodine; and he claims that his dog takes the same medicine for $37.00, claiming "This is wrong!"

FACT: Gore's aides were quick to apologize for Gore's lie, saying the information was from a Democratic study. Washington newspapers also reported that Al Gore wasn't even sure his mother-in-law was taking any medication and wasn't even sure she had arthritis. And, he doesn't know anything about his dog's "arthritis".

 

FICTION: Al Gore said his father, a senator, was a champion of civil rights during the 1960's.

FACT: Gore's father voted against the landmark Civil Rights Act of 1964 and was a racist who was fond of using the "N" word.

 

FICTION: Al Gore said that his sister was the very first person to join the Peace Corps.

FACT: By the time Gore's sister joined the Peace Corps, there were already over 100 members.

 

FICTION: The same sister died of lung cancer years later and Gore vowed to never accept tobacco money as campaign contributions.

FACT: Just four years later, while campaigning for office, Gore spoke to the tobacco industry and said he was one of them because "I've planted it, raised it, cut it, and dried it." He raised over $100,000 in "reported" contributions.

 

FICTION: While running for office, Gore's campaign literature claimed he was a "Brilliant Student".

FACT: Washington newspapers said he barely passed Harvard and consistently earned D's and C's.

 

FICTION: Gore claims an extensive knowledge of law as a result of his extensive study at law school.

FACT: Al Gore dropped out of law school.

 

FICTION: Gore claimed that his knowledge of God and spirituality came to complete fruition while "finishing" divinity school.

FACT: Al Gore dropped out of divinity school.

 

FICTION: Al Gore claimed responsibility for inventing the Internet in the 1990's.

FACT: Shocked scientists were quick to speak out, explaining that the Internet had been in widespread use by government and educational institutions since the early 1970's.

 

FICTION: Al Gore claimed the book Love Story was based on his life and Tipper's.

FACT: Author Erich Segal called a press conference to deny his claim. (Couldn't he at least lie about a love story where his sweetheart doesn't die?"

 

FICTION: Gore claimed that as a reporter for a Nashville newspaper, his stories led to the arrests of numerous corrupt criminals.

FACT: He later apologized for his claim and actually said it was untrue (Also known as lying).

 

FICTION: Gore claims to increase diversity in the staff that follows him daily, especially among blacks.

FACT: Black members of the Secret Service are suing because they claim they are not being promoted to positions guarding the Vice-President.

 

FICTION: Al Gore said he was the first to discover the Love Canal nuclear accident.

FACT: The incident was already discovered, being investigated, and covered widely in the press for many months before Gore was aware of it.

 

FICTION: Gore said just recently that if elected president, he would put harsh sanctions on the sleazy producers of Hollywood's extreme sex and violence.

FACT: Just six days later, Gore attended a fundraiser by Hollywood producers and radical gay activists where he told them that he would only pretend to "nudge them" if elected. He raised over $4 million.

 

FICTION: Al Gore said he built his Tennessee home with his bare hands.

FACT: Totally false!

 

FICTION: Al Gore says parents should not have a choice between private and public schools because public schools are far better.

TRUTH: Al Gore attended private school and he has sent his children to private schools.

 

FICTION: Al Gore remembers his mother lulling him to sleep as a baby by singing the popular ditty, "Wear The Union Label".

FACT: The popular ditty was created by the unions when Gore was 27 years old.

 

FICTION: Al Gore claimed to co-sponsor the McCain-Feingold Campaign Reform Act.

FACT: The Act was not sponsored until he had been out of office for over a year.

 

FICTION: Al Gore claims to be instrumental in keeping gas prices low.

FACT: Gore has voted on numerous occasions to raise the tax on gasoline. In his book Earth In The Balance Gore claims that the nation's Number One enemy is the internal combustion engine. (That's the motor in your vehicle that gets you to work and takes your kids to school.)

 

FICTION: Gore pretends to champion the rights of poor women to be tested regularly for breast cancer with the most modern technology.

FACT: While giving a speech on the subject in September, Gore didn't know what a mammogram was.

 

FICTION: Al Gore promised Florida's senior citizens that they would finally have low-cost drugs with no interference from government.

FACT: Gore's plan calls for the creation of a huge federal agency that would tell you which doctor you are allowed to see in order to get the "special rates".

 

FACT: Al Gore told NBC's Lisa Meyers that he had never told a lie. When Meyers pressed harder, "You've never told a lie?!" Gore said, "Not that I know of."

SOUND FAMILIAR?

 

 

What is a "Goron?"

(Hint, it rhymes with "Moron")

1. Gorons sincerely believe that Vice President Gore is a true environmentalist, when he has an environmental disaster on his own farm: a polluting zinc mine, from which he received $500,000 of income last year.

2. Gorons likewise believe that the VP is anti-smoking and anti-tobacco when he has operated a tobacco farm for decades and accepted government subsidies.

3. Gorons truly believe that Gore is a Vietnam war hero, when in fact he was placed by family influence in a "cushy" correspondent's job and the only action he saw was that of his Brownie camera! (and his bong)

4. Gorons actually believe that Mr. Gore is justified in illegally raising political funds from the Office of the VP, simply because the Vanderbilt Law educated VP claims he was ignorant of the illegality.

5. Gorons further believe that it was OK for Al to accept large sums of political money from China through Buddhist monks who had taken vows of poverty, since he again claimed ignorance.

6. Gorons also believe that the man who claimed to "invent the Internet" would be so computationally ignorant that he could lose weeks of potentially incriminating e-mail!

7. Gorons, incredibly, believe Gore's claim that he and Tipper were the models for the book and movie, "Love Story" even though the book's author, Erich Segal, says not.

8. Gorons, amazingly, believe that Gore will be the consumer's champion against high gasoline prices although Gore holds a million dollars in Occidental Petroleum stock.

9. Gorons applaud Mr. Lieberman's open rejection of President Clinton's immorality, but believe it was fine for Mr. Gore to remain silent on the subject, while simultaneously declaring Mr. Clinton "one of the greatest Presidents of our history."

10. Gorons believe that Al Gore is an effective leader, when they won't bother to look at his record as a Tennessee Senator, a record so ineffective that it has led to the election of Republicans as BOTH of Tennessee's Senators!

11. Gorons hold the belief that Gore is a compassionate man who will be the working man's friend, in spite of the eviction notice he served to the poor family who complained about the conditions of the run down slum house that he was renting to them.

CAUTIONARY NOTE:

Medical researchers acknowledge that Gorons are generally harmless, except when allowed into a voting booth. There,unfortunately, overcome by their gullibility syndrome, they are apt to actually vote for Gore! They should be carefully protected from their ailment, since it may be harmful to their well-being, yours, mine and that of the USA.

Therefore, PLEASE, heed the Surgeon General's warning, reach out to aid the Gorons in overcoming the syndrome, and, PLEASE, pass this on to your normal friends, who might also know Gorons who desperately need immediate treatment.

 

"You wake up on November 8 and you feel terrible. It's cold and grey outside; it's drizzling rain mixed with sleet. You get out of bed and stub your toe. Ouch. You stumble to the door and pick up your newspaper. It's all wet, but you can just make out the front page. It says: 'Bush-Cheney win'."

- Al Gore at a Nashville, Tenn. fundraiser trying to stir his demoralized Democrat troops and Gorons.

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