The Konformist

Version 2.0
September 1998

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An open letter to Matt Drudge:

 

Hey Matt:

DRUDGE GOES TO THE MATT FOR FREEDOM

"You believe everything you read on the Internet?" asked Matt Drudge, with more than a touch of irony, after New York called about "Inside Matt Drudge's Closet." The story, written by "The Masher" and posted on the Media Culture Review Website last Wednesday, says, "Drudge is gay and very much uptight about it," and goes on to critique the cybergossip's sexual technique ("He may have loose lips in the gossip arena; but when it comes to smooching, he is very closed mouth"). Drudge insists that he doesn't mind getting the same treatment that he dishes out. "I've chosen to let them say what they want, because I believe in the First Amendment," says the Internet star. Dare we ask about his own no-longer-totally-private life? "The last person I had sex with was last summer, and it happened to be someone with two tits," Drudge says -- and that's all he'll say. "I don't want to hurt my demographics in any direction."

From the September 7, 1998 issue of New York Magazine.

 

First of all, let me say I find your claim about as convincing as your denial of being a whore for the right-wing. Having said that, even if you are telling the truth about your last encounter, that hardly proves anything, as anyone who has driven down the streets of West Hollywood late at night can attest. So my guess is, yeah, maybe the last person you fucked did have tits, but if you asked that person to pull down their pants, they'd whip out a huge cock that's been twitching up your bunghole. In fact, I wonder if, judging by his upcoming album cover, the culprit could be Marilyn Manson.

You know, Matt, you must really hate me for dragging your faggotty ass out of the closet while you kick and scream like a woman, but I figure I'm doing you a favor. Even though it is true that your demographics will be repulsed by your behavior, I for one will give you some respect when you finally admit to your blatantly obvious sexuality. Think of it this way, Matt: you'll be the most important gay figure since Ellen DeGeneres, and she got Anne Heche out of the deal. You should have hunks all over you, dude

Later,

Robert Sterling

Editor, The Konformist

 

Matt Drudge Is A Homo!!

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