The Konformist

K2K
November 2000

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HOW THE GRINCH STOLE THE ELECTION

 

Every Jew down in Jewville liked elections a lot

But the Grinch, who lived over in Austin, did NOT!

"I know they'll be voting for Gore," he was thinking,

"By Wednesday the latest, I'll be back to my drinking."

 

Election day came and the voting was close,

At one point the Grinch even started to boast.

"It's the Grinch by a nose," all the newsmen exclaimed,

Even Dan Rather, who was clearly insane.

 

But was he the winner? Hey, not so fast,

Al Gore called him up and said "Grinch, kiss my ass."

The race was too tight to say who was elected.

The Grinch was so stressed-out his face got infected

 

All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess.

But Hymie, and Herschel, and dear old Aunt Bess,

Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked.

They poked the wrong hole and they joined the Third Reich.

 

The Jews down in Jewville took to the street,

To complain about fraud - not to mention the heat.

The Grinch said something that couldn't be gaucher

"This election, my friends, is perfectly kosher!"

 

Then a judge ruled each vote must be counted by hand.

The Grinch said,"That's not what my brother Jeb planned!"

His lawyers filed motions, injunctions and writs,

Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.

 

But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,

He met Little Cindy-Lou Lipschitz, age ninety-two.

"Why," she cried, "did you steal our election?" .

He just laughed, and gave her a lethal injection.

 

"Don't question my integrity," he said with a sneer.

"And give the chick's number to Cheney - his daughter's a queer."

He said, "Don't you get it? This is a national crisis.

Don't listen to the Goldbergs, the Greenbaums, the Weisses.")

 

They say the Grinches ego grew three sizes that day,

Unfortunately, his brain went the opposite way.

So here's a lesson for now and for later,

Don't blame me, I voted for Nader.

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